I walked out of the offices of Vandalay Industries on Friday afternoon in a blaze of glory and smelling of smoke after I set the office ablaze, yelling insults and vulgarities at everyone I passed on the way out and leaving a small token of appreciation on the bonnet of the bosses car.
When I arose on Saturday morning I went to the Seebach Room, settled into my favorite chair with a beer and awaited the rapture. And waited, and waited. I had a few beers to pass the time and lo I was so excited I became very tired and slept through the 6pm deadline.
But when I awoke Sunday morning I was as confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market. Everything looked the same! There was no Rapture. And boy, was there was some explaining to be done when I returned to work.
What happened Harry? Did the Lord look down and decide that no-one was worthy, did he cast his eyes down upon high and say, bah, I don't want those idiots up here with me? I could understand if he did, just a quick troll through the pages of this illustrious blog will show you that there are a heap of idiots here. Or were you just wrong, and delusional, and making huge amounts of cashola from the whole venture.
My trust in modern religion has been sorely tested, but I will be back front and centre when the next nut job says "Follow me! We are setting the controls for the heart of the sun! Redemption awaits! Just bring cash!!" I'm a sucker for a bit of religious lunacy.
