Monday, 11 July 2011

Am I Three?

I had to watch it.  I had to.  And as soon as I did I wish I hadn't, as I was angry, damn angry.
Our PM Miss Gillard was on the TV last night, speaking to us like we were three year olds in her dull nasal monotone, telling us the science is in, and that Australia has decided that the only way to save the world was with a whopping big tax, which you would get back anyway. 
Damn these commies!!  They will not be happy until we produce nothing here and import everything, thus reducing our pollution output.  And the often used argument that everyone is setting up their own scheme is only proof that politicians the world over love a tax.
News for you red, we haven't decided, in fact we didn't even pick you!  If you had any gumption you would put this to the electorate and truly let us decide.  If you have nothing to worry about it should be an easy call to make comrade.

Thursday, 7 July 2011


After setting the controls for the heart of the sun, Ricky insisted on driving the team bus home

So they lost.  All the hoopla over for another year.  And we will have to put up with another year of listening to Queenslanders gloat about the win.  Another year spent with dreams unfulfilled.  This must be what it sounds like, when doves cry.

But let us not forget the lighter side of Origin, and I think it's time to call the doctor, for the coach may have truly lost the plot.

Before the big game NSW Origin ubercoach Ricky Stewart thought he would be a bit sneaky, and organise a training session away from the media, away from the public and away from the spies that the Queensland government and the QRL have running all over Brisbane stealing Ricky's thoughts.

So the team were issued their Ricky approved tin-foil hats, donned the Ricky approved cloaking devices and climbed aboard the Blues bus headed for parts unknown.  The location for the secret training session turned out to be the second biggest ground in Brisneyland, Ballymore, home ground and training centre for the SuperDuper 15 rugby team The Reds who are lining up for a game in the finals this weekend.

And the Reds captain James Horwill (or hor won't, depending on how many drinks were consumed) had the hide to call a press conference at the ground when Ricky and his alfoil army arrived.  Luckily Ricky was on hand to sort it out, and asked all media not to look out at the field and watch his team train.  Seriously.  They were also asked not to look Ricky in the eye, bow as he passed, and lick clean his boots.  Maybe.  As we now know it doesnt't matter if you train in the middle of Pitt Street, or in an underground lead lined bunker (which was Ricky's preferred training location) if you are shite, you are shite and you will lose.  And we did.

So if in the next few weeks as you wander around this wide brown crazy land and you see a short man living it a cardboard box ranting about how the refs cost him the game throw him a dollar.  It could be the NSW Origin coach.