Thursday, 29 January 2009

A Rocker Eroded

It has slowly been happening, but in a few weeks I think it will be official.

I am no longer the rocker I thought I was.

I am as shocked as you are, maybe more so. I enjoyed the dizzy highs of the rock star lifestyle with my early days in Odium, and later, Lethal. I have attended countless concerts, have been privileged to see some great bands, and have accumulated quite an impressive collection of music spanning most genres, but focusing on the heavier side of things. I was at one time able to sprout on about all the music played on 2JJJ, and knew most of the tunes on the radio.

But it is all over.

I listened to the hottest 100 on JJJ last weekend and knew none of the tunes, and the ones I heard sounded like they were made by cardigan wearing, fop haired girly men wearing ladies jeans who would wilt like a daffodil in the sun at the mere sound of the opening chords of Ace Of Spades.

But I am afraid I may soon be growing my hair out and letting it hang over one eye, slipping into a pair of ladies jeans and casting my eyes downward.

I have been asked to attend a concert by American music artist Pink by my three lettered one whose interest in music in the past has been limited to whatever I play or some obscure Thai love songs.

And I agreed to go.

As soon as I said yes and she ran off excitedly to check ticket availability I had visions of Lemmy nutting me, Danzig and Doyle walking away from me in disgust, Sabbath era Ozzy breaking into uncontrollable laughter......I was despondent. And still am.

Is this the end of my rockerdom???

I won't confirm it here, but if you soon see a whole heap of quality music music being offered for sale on EBay by someone named "oncewasarocker37645" you will know my friends, that the end has come.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Save The World?? SPARE ME DAYS!!!!!!!!!

The Rag is a grand source for things to get the blood boiling and yesterdays edition, a souvenir edition mind you (following on from other memorable souvenir editions, Andrew Johns "I am a drugtaker" souvenir edition for one), was no exception. Front page a pic of Obama and then below that in large type:

"Barack Obama's first task: Saving the world"



How does one, "Save the world"? What is he saving us from? Are we about to be attacked by aliens? Is there something the good folk at The Rag know and are not telling us? Saving the world...I hope he does, I hope he saves the world from MORONS LIKE THOSE AT THE DAILY TELEGRAPH.

In the word of the mighty Rex Mossop, spare me days!!!

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Who'd Have Thunk It!!

Along with the usual visit by the big red bearded one over the summer months we have had other visitors to our fair shores over the festive season, visitors that hurt and bite and cause damage---SHARKS!!

A few people have been hit by sharks of late, some surviving to telll the tale, some not. Those that lost the fight with Mr Toothy I feel sorry for. But sharks, in the water, in the OCEAN!!! What is the world coming to! It must be global warming! RUN TO THE HILLS!!!

Thats where sharks live people, in the ocean. If you decide to go spearfishing and leave a trail of burley behind you, or surf where seals are known to frequent, or swim late at night then Jaws might pay you a visit because thats where he lives. Simple. Much like if you enter my backyard if you are a cat or dressed as a cat, then Bally "The Caterminator" may bite you, sometimes to death, because thats what he does. He is a wild animal whose mortal enimal is the feline. Its common sense.

Those that call for the culling of the shark can go jump. Thats where sharks live, we are visitors in their domain. Get over it.

And to those that have called the recent king tides and warm weather a sure sign of global warming, WAKE UP!! The king tide is a twice yearly event. The past few have been smaller and nature, in its infinite wisdom and dedication to balance made up for it this year. And the warmer weather is because it is SUMMER.

The world is full of dolts. We are here for public re-education, a public service provided free of charge. No need to thank me. I'm only one man but I am doing my bit.

Monday, 19 January 2009

While it may be important to you, I DON"T CARE!!!

If I was to tell you how much beer I drank during my holidays you wouldn't believe me. I had a few yesterday and it tasted like water. I have become immune to beer.

While I have mentioned Mr Obama in a previous post, which was more Lemmy (God) related than anything, I wonder if we need the coverage that the upcoming presidential inaugaration is getting here in Oz. I am happy he has the job and has removed Mr Bush from power but are we the 52nd state of America? Full live TV coverage of the inaugaration? Here in Australia? What is going on!! Our own swearing in ceremony when a new PM comes to power is barely mentioned but here we follow the presidental inaugaration like it was the second coming of Jesus.

We should have some pride in our own ceremonies and such and not be looking overseas for things such as this to watch.

Oh lordy........first day back at work and I am feeling it BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!