Monday, 29 June 2009

Tongue Licks Melbourne


A public holiday has been declared in Canberra today to kick off a week of celebrations following the Ragedrs win over the Inclement Weather 26 to 16 at Brooooooooooce Stadium yesterday. The Ragedrs have not beaten the Weather in anything since 2002.

Canberra were always more hungry as they are being paid in pies for a win nowadays than Melbourne in an 80-minute effort the rangey ranger footballing journeyman Jowl Monaghan described as "one of the few wins I've been involved with that I was sober for, it has been a while."

"The personnel has changed, the game is still a game of two halves and 80 minutes long but it's great to get the monkey off our backs against The Weather, which in hindsight was a pretty ridiculous way to play against them. Have you ever tried to run with a bonobo monkey frotting away on your back looking for a opening. It can be distracting" he said.

As for retaining his Origin spot for game three, Monaghan said: "I'm not sure if I'll be there. After today's win I think I will be on the cans for a while. I have heard Toddles Carney, the patron saint of celebrations is in town so the phone may be turned off for a while. I've said the whole time that the only thing I can effectively control is my bladder, I haven't seen any replays of the game yet but I thought I did that today, so fingers crossed I keep that up. You can go broke buying adult nappies."

-Mike Oxwollen

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Give us a push, I don't think I can go any further....

It's so unbelievably underwhelming but we have limped over the line with fifty posts.

I wish we could have charged over the line, hands held high like an Olympic sprinter hopped up on the latest performance enhancers. Instead we stumble our way to the line, coughing and spluttering, with all the vim and vigour of a sloth shot by a poacher, hanging on but refusing to fall.

It was a promising start but unfortunately the monkeys that usually bang out blogs like ours went out for a smoke and never returned. And I think we are all poorer for it.

I will blog again soon when I feel a little more human. I started work at 6am Tuesday and finished at 1am Wednesday, returning to work eight hours later for more punishment and am not feeling quite right just yet. Hopefully I can blog about how great the State of Origin game was, how it was a hard fought battle, with at least two big dust ups that don't result in the sin binning of everyone and are seen as part of a full contact sport between fit young angry men.

But I doubt it.