Monday, 19 September 2011

O' Zapft Is!

Of all the fests on offer this is the bestest one.  Oktoberfest.  It's on again, and I for one say hooray. 

The knowledge that once a year, somewhere in the world, there is a festival where fit young ladies dressed in attractive dirndl and massive steins of beer are combined is one of the few things that keeps me putting one foot in front of the other and trudging on through life, no matter how dull it can be. 

When I see pics from Oktoberfest all I can say is horray.  Hoo-bloody-ray for everything. 

Friday, 16 September 2011

Toddles The Shark

Toddles:You reckon Joel Monaghan was crook, wait until you hear what me and Daisy just got up to!  They taught me so much in the Ragedrs.
Daisy: And he said he loved me.  Why can't he just respect me?

It may be an uncomfortable position to be in but our wiley sports reporter Mike Oxwollen who has an ear to the ground, a foot in all camps and his finger on the pulse of rugby league filed this report early this morning…

Talks are ongoing with Toddles Carney looking set to sign on to play for the Curranulla Sharks next year. The Sharks had a disappointing 2011 and they are hoping that the signing of Toddles will help them for 2012. Captain Paul Gallen said yesterday “I hope Todd decides to come over and play with us next year. When it all goes bad again we can blame him. Hell, we have blamed everyone from the CEO to the bloke who cleans the sprigs on the boots over the past few years, it would be nice to get some new blood in the camp to blame things on.”

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Nearly Won By

OK, I realise that the Origin circus has been and gone, but I miss it.  I think that it is the funniest time of the season, and should be expanded to a best of five.  Lucky for me I was clearing out the cupboard at Vandalay Industries yesterday and came across this missive by our esteemed sports reporter Mick Oxwollen from the last Origin series.  Over to you Mike...

"Mal Meninga said in the press conference that he was proud of the way his team played, they made some mistakes and paid the price, and that he would not be offering any excuses for the loss.

In his press conference Ricky Stewart heralded the win as the start of a new era for NSW in Origin showing none of the delusions of grandeur we expected from the supercoach.
He also revealed that he wants his players to stand down from regular season games for the next origin, thus preparing the way for his excuse why he lost game 3.
And I hope you are sitting down cos I am going to let Ricky share with you a revelation (via Gus “biased commentary, what biased commentary?” Gould) that will blow your mind! Blow it clean out of your skull and change the way you see the world. I’ll hand over to Foxsports and the great man as I don’t think I can do it justice

Ricky had also told his players of a remark former NSW coach Phil Gould had delivered to him during the week.
"Gus told me they don't put on the trophy that NSW nearly won it, they put the winner," Stuart said.

Either that is the most ridiculous line ever or it’s been that long since Ricky has seen the trophy that he had to ask Gus what the trophy looked like.

Mike Oxwollen

Thanks for that Mike, great work as usual.  And I think you will find that Gus is right about that one, as it clearly says QUEENSLAND 2011 VICTORS on the Origin cup.

Monday, 5 September 2011

I Will Return

Listen up, I dont have time to really let rip at the moment but...LET ME SAY THIS!!!  Peter Peter Peters Peters who was a shiny bum seat warmer at the Manly Seagulls Franchise until last week should not have been sacked.  He paid the young lady a compliment, when is someone saying you look good offensive?  The world has gone mad.

As I said, I am busy but I will be back to expand upon this idea later.