Thursday, 30 June 2011

What Hasn't He Done?

Drugs are bad, mkay?

Wow, a real scoop in the papers today:

"Charlie Sheen has admitted he used steroids to prepare him for the role of baseball pitcher Ricky Wild Thing Vaughn in the 1989 comedy Major League."

You could devote pages and pages to the type of crazy Charlie Sheen peddles, and frankly, I like it. The world needs his type of sex and drugs and rock n roll craziness, with his porn star girlfriends, buckets of pharmaceuticals and endless cash, and doing it all without a care in the world.

But to report he did steroids? I would be disappointed if he didn't give them a try as well. If they want a truly amazing headline why didn't they report "Charlie Sheen has admitted to not trying Guatemalan chilli peyote in an interview today. 'You keep away from that stuff, that will kill you!"

THAT Is Your God?

CHARGES ... Great grandmother, Noelene Edwards, 74 has been charged with drug supply after being detected by sniffer on George Street, Sydney. Pictured with her god, Digger. Picture: Brad Hunter Source: The Daily Telegraph

This is from today's Rag.

Amazing what passes for a deity these days...

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Rare Sighting!

Citizens of Canberra were treated to a sighting of awesomeness rarely seen but often spoken about last weekend in and around the Civic area.
All round good guys Cracka and Maca were spotted at various Canberra hotspots last Saturday living it up and investing heavily in ACTAB and the local hospitality industry, before finishing off the night at a 'goldmine' coffee shop with a pot of green tea accompanied by their three lettered ones. Local residents were agog at the rare sighting and laughing with the comsdy duo at their witty commentry through the evening.
Chov was expected to join in for a while but the visit of an interstate dignantry and a date with the losing Parramatta Eels prevented him from attending.

Mike Oxwollen

Friday, 17 June 2011

Hooray! We Won One!!

NSW celebrates a win. Doctors fear the excitement levels if they win two could cause injury.

Congrats to the NSW Origin team on an outstandingly brave performance and win against the odds last Wednesday night that I knew they had in them from the start. Some naysayers and ne'er-do-wells have been death riding coach Ricky Stewart of late and I for one am proud of his efforts and have always believed he had the makings of a great coach, and with a display of courage rarely seen in the modern game our captain Paul Gallen (who I have been a passionate fan of for many years) led our boys from the front and cemented the victory with a lesson in professional football.

It’s a victory for the true believers.

Yes, there is a bandwagon passing by and I am getting on it.

And I look forward to acknowledgement from our brave and inspirational captain, that's right, I'm looking right at you Paul Gallen, that the touch up you received in this very forum a little while ago was the impetus that propelled you to greatness. We don't deserve the glory, but we appreciate the thanks.

That reminds me that while we are on the subject of touch ups and sprays that result in better footballers, this just in from the news services:

Todd Carney will be playing for the Newtown Jets tomorrow.
High profile Sydney Roosters player Todd Carney will be playing with the Newtown Jets in their Round 15 NSW Cup match against Manly-Warringah at Brookvale Oval tomorrow.
The Sydney Roosters have a bye in the NRL competition so this is a perfect opportunity for Todd to gain some more game time following his recent lay-off from playing duties.
This is of course Todd's debut in the famous Royal Blue colours of the Newtown Jets. He played against Newtown on several occasions some years ago when he was playing for the Canberra Raiders in the NSWRL Premier League, a predecessor of the current NSW Cup competition.

So Toddles is going to play for the Bluebags. Wow. I don't know quite how to take that news......either our encouragement has pushed him back onto the right path or this is just another sign of the impending apocalypse.

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Oktoberfest 2011!!

Listen, I know Oktoberfest is still a little while away but I have got to say, I love Oktoberfest. I love it so much.

I am not 100% sure why but I know love it.

It is tops.

Someone Makes Something Up! Nothing Found As A Result!!

This is from the news today. The world has gone mad....

A PSYCHIC launched a search for bodies in Texas on Tuesday evening, but a search of property in a rural area turned up no evidence of any homicides, authorities said.
Police were searching for evidence of a possible mass grave after being tipped off that up to 30 dismembered bodies were buried on a rural property.
"We have no indication there are in fact any bodies in the residence or on the property," Liberty County Sheriff's Office Capt. Rex Evans told reporters.
Officials came with a search warrant to look at the property near the town of Hardin.
Aerial footage showed officers standing outside a single-story residence in a rural area.
Evans said authorities now will try to locate and speak with the unidentified female caller.

The unidentified female caller may not be able to answer the phone as she will be too busy laughing her head off that someone took her seriously.

The good folk at the Liberty County Sheriff's Office are also patiently awaiting the money as part of an unexpected UK lottery win, the deposit in the bank of $459 gajillion dollars from a recently passed african prince and the delivery of one Sydney Harbour Bridge.