And now some men who need no introduction...

On the last day of 2008 I feel it is my duty to do a few things

1. Drink my weight in beer
2. Make no resolutions
3. Introduce my fellow Golden Trioists
4. Make some prediction for 2009 (in another post)

So without further ado (and because it is frowned upon to drink at 8.34am) I would like to introduce the other two members of the Golden Trio....

Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome to the stage Cracka (loud applause and one masculine sounding wolf whistle)

Cracka was born sometime in the 70's to Jan and Wayne founders of the famous couple who introduced crack cocaine to Australia. Craig was their first child but Jan soon popped out two sisters and a boy simply known as Piggy. Cracka had a happy childhood spending most of his time packaging Mum and Dads special 'fluffy powder' and playing Run Yourself Ragged with Piggy and his collection of Mutant Barbie dolls which he called his 'Army'.

At high school Crack's superior intellect and muscular body made him a target for school bullies and often meant he would get picked second last (just before the dude who smelt like arse) for Bullrush. Crack pushed his anger way down under his spleen as he knew that one day he would be great, or explode in a clocktower shooting rage.

And great he became, after leading his band to the dizzying heights of the St Lukes Hall Festival (now known as The Big Day Out), Crack left the band to concentrate on his Rugby League career. Unfortunatley this career was cut short when a freak barbed wire accident severed his heartstring.

Whilst the future seemed bleak for Crack, no Rugby League career, no band and an inability to brush his hair due to a sensitive scalp, it was now that his life found full direction. Whilst experimenting in his dungeon one day, Crack accidently invented the internet. Crack sold the internet to some computer nerds for a tragazillion dollars and went travelling.

Not much was heard from Cracka for the next couple of years and there are no official records of his travels. Some fans say he spent most of this time writing showtunes whilst others argue that he spent most of these years living in New Zealand where he married three sheep named Mildred, Francesca and Dave. Whatever he was doing didnt matter because when he exploded back on the scene with his book 'F*ck Off' everyone new that this dark period was behind him.

Cracka now lives a comfotable life with one wife, one daughter, one dog, and no sheep.

I will introduce Chov when my fingers stop bleeding.

Maca Out

From the Golden Trio....

A MERRY LLOYD CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Lemmy Told Them To!!

And while I am on it, listen to Motorhead's classic track "Bomber" from the 1979 release of the same name. Did Lemmy have a crystal ball, some divine inspiration?

Well how do you explain this...when Lemmy kicks into the chorus is he saying "Is Obama" or what!!! The man is a progressive thinker, and this explains why America voted him in, BECAUSE LEMMY TOLD THEM TO nearly 30 bloody years ago!! He never sang "Is Bush" did he.

Oh Lemmy, we are forever in your debt.

Is It Me Or Is It Cold Here?

Currently listening to Motorhead, Ace Of Spades. Lemmy is God.

Crazy Captain Kev has announced his climate change paper. What a crock. It used to be called Global Warming (remember those good old days...) but they realised that it didn't fit in with the plan as the warming could be possibly explained by other causes, so now it is climate change, like when the weather changes from cold in June to hot in December....RUN TO THE HILLS!!!!!! WE ARE ALL DOOMED TO DIE!!!!!!!!!

It is a crock. There are scientists who support the idea, and as many who say it is bunk, but the people who make the most noise, the great unwashed as I have heard them described, prefer to believe the former and refuse to see anything else. You can almost hear the words blaring directly from their brains... "Research? By experts? Who needs that? We BELIEVE! It's like everything else Greens do - it's all about who they can vilify and how they feel. Facts never enter the picture. Don't get me wrong, I love the environment and think that we should not be burning rubber tyres in the middle of the Great Barrier Reef, but seriously, lets get some perspective here. So many dissenting voices asking for more research into the subject....maybe some are old and are ready to go and are too lazy to do anything about it but surely they can't all want to die in an environmental catastrophe.

I lived overseas in 1999 and was told by the company I was working for that we had to fly out by December 20th to avoid the Y2K bug meltdown that was about to hit. It sure did hit. A few very smart people made a lot of money off that. Those same people are now reaching into our pockets under the banner of climate change.

If I be so bold check out this: http://ecoworld.com/features/2006/12/29/rebuttal-to-inconvenient-truth/
I did and I loved it.


My dream for 2009 is for Lemmy to front Al Gore on his own front lawn and kick him square in the kegs, and then get on a plane, fly to Tasmania, drinking and smoking the whole flight surrounded by nubile young lasses, go to Bob Brown's place (wont be too hard to find, its the grass thatch hut with no power or water attached) and nut him square across the bridge of the nose. And then come to my place for a beer....I am now the best mood I have been in all day just thinking about it.

Lemmy. Is there anything he cant do?

Chov's 30 Second Solutions for Big Problems #1: The Gummint and the Internet

Over at http://www.dbcde.gov.au/ somewhere, the Federal Finance Minister Lindsay "My "Any" Key Is Missing" Tanner has started a "blog".

Mostly because he saw this one and realised how cool the Golden Trio are.

F*cken bandwagon jumper.

But Lindsay "It's NOT a girl's name, dammit!" Tanner and the Gummint want to hear precisely what internet users think of the Gummint's imbecile-ideas for the "Digital Revolution".

But only between 8.30am and 4.30pm, weekdays. Lindsay must think the "internet" (that thing the crazy cool kids these days talk about)(whatever it actually is), is closed the rest of the time.

So here is The Chov to give you the correct answers in 30 seconds, saving you time which you can put toward P2P sharing of new release DVDs instead. Before the Gummint f*cks it up.

* Q: What do you think of the Gummint's mandatory internet filtering proposal?
A: F*cking cortex-snappingly stupid. A f*cking chimpanzee with syphilis would say "that's a f*cking stupid idea". George W. Bush, who never met a stupid idea he didn't like, just did. While part of me is intrigued as to whether the Golden Trio's magnificent blog would make the secret blacklist, this moronic idea would not only slow down, if not eliminate, our pornography downloads from East Germany, it wouldn't speed up our illegal music downloading one megabyte as a result. So f*ck that.

* Q: What do you think of the Gummint's planned national broadband network?
A: F*cking useless pipe-dream. What's the f*cking point, when all you're going to do is SLOW IT DOWN with your stupid mandatory internet filter, you morons? It's like buying a Ferrari, then putting a 25km/h speed limiter on it. And painting it brown.

* Q: What do you think of everything else the Gummint is trying to do with the internet that the crazy cool kids are all talking about these days?
A: Who f*cken cares. Your first idea was so gigantically stupid it reduced my IQ by 5 points just by reading it. If any of the other ideas are even in the same ballpark, the internet will be an abacus and some numbered blocks within 2 months.

* Q: What can Australia do to participate fully in the "Digital Economy", besides showing You Tube clips of Wayne Swan reading "Economics for Deadshits" in his office, LIVE STREAMING(!)? A: F*ck you idiots off and put the Golden Trio in charge.

End of.