Part of the service offered here at the Sanctum is the news, the real news, the news you won't find anywhere else. We have sources, contacts and reporters stationed at all points of the world ready to send it the straight dope, uncensored and unaltered.
With the NRL season soon to begin we take this story from our sports correspondent deep in the bowels of NRL HQ
WHY CAN"T I PLAY???
BANNED public urinator Toddles Carney yesterday walked into the NRL and offered David Gallop oral pleasure for life if he let him play again in 2009, but was sent away crying like a baby.
With his manager Delusional David Riolo, Carney held a one-hour meeting with the NRL chief vazhin about the possibility of the former Canberra halfback playing again.
But for the first time in his career, and surprising everyone and even himself, Gallop did not back down telling the troubled player any contract would not be registered.
Riolo claimed Carney should be given a "second chance, or maybe even a third, fourth or fifth chance, even I have lost count", despite a series of off-field peccadilloes.
Sacked by Canberra last year, Carney could not get a visa to play in the UK due to the incredibly difficult paperwork and effort required and faces 2009 stuck in Goulburn Workers. "Why shouldn't he be allowed to play?" Riolo said.
"He has paid a hefty price in public embarrassment. How long can we kick someone when they are down? Sure he has a wrap sheet, haven’t we all.”
Delusional Dave also wants a contract for Bilal Skaf and Ivan Milat to line up for season 2009 in some capacity.
"Toddles has lost hundreds of thousands of dollars at the TAB and pub and been picked on in the press and by the influential and mysterious think tank known as The Golden Trio. He cries himself to sleep, he has worn out his last two teddy bears, it’s a sad state of affairs.”
"He has gone through a tough time, which through no fault of his own he has brought on himself. But Toddy would like to get his life back on track, be able to pay off his Liquorland account, renew his Goulburn Workers membership and we hope Canberra support that."
Canberra chairman John McIntyre said his club would not budge and give Carney a clearance.
"We are firm on this – Todd can root a boot. If he can’t play with us, he will play with no-one and we expect the NRL to back us," McIntyre said.
Gallop said he listened to Riolo but had not altered his view.
"From our point of view nothing has changed," Gallop said. Asked if the NRL would still ban Carney if a club asked for his services, Gallop yet again showed his true colors and said: "Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes punishment has to be tough. But I might change my mind again yet, it’s what I do. And oral pleasure for life is a pretty good offer"
From our man on the scene--------Mike Oxwollen
With his manager Delusional David Riolo, Carney held a one-hour meeting with the NRL chief vazhin about the possibility of the former Canberra halfback playing again.
But for the first time in his career, and surprising everyone and even himself, Gallop did not back down telling the troubled player any contract would not be registered.
Riolo claimed Carney should be given a "second chance, or maybe even a third, fourth or fifth chance, even I have lost count", despite a series of off-field peccadilloes.
Sacked by Canberra last year, Carney could not get a visa to play in the UK due to the incredibly difficult paperwork and effort required and faces 2009 stuck in Goulburn Workers. "Why shouldn't he be allowed to play?" Riolo said.
"He has paid a hefty price in public embarrassment. How long can we kick someone when they are down? Sure he has a wrap sheet, haven’t we all.”
Delusional Dave also wants a contract for Bilal Skaf and Ivan Milat to line up for season 2009 in some capacity.
"Toddles has lost hundreds of thousands of dollars at the TAB and pub and been picked on in the press and by the influential and mysterious think tank known as The Golden Trio. He cries himself to sleep, he has worn out his last two teddy bears, it’s a sad state of affairs.”
"He has gone through a tough time, which through no fault of his own he has brought on himself. But Toddy would like to get his life back on track, be able to pay off his Liquorland account, renew his Goulburn Workers membership and we hope Canberra support that."
Canberra chairman John McIntyre said his club would not budge and give Carney a clearance.
"We are firm on this – Todd can root a boot. If he can’t play with us, he will play with no-one and we expect the NRL to back us," McIntyre said.
Gallop said he listened to Riolo but had not altered his view.
"From our point of view nothing has changed," Gallop said. Asked if the NRL would still ban Carney if a club asked for his services, Gallop yet again showed his true colors and said: "Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes punishment has to be tough. But I might change my mind again yet, it’s what I do. And oral pleasure for life is a pretty good offer"
From our man on the scene--------Mike Oxwollen
Never mind Toddles, there is always your current driving job to fall back on......
