I would first like to thank my learned colleague for reminding us of something we said we would do back in December but have wisely waited until March to do.
I know I have personally fielded many calls from frantic folk asking me "Crack, where are your predictions? I cant wait for events to occur, tell me whats going to happen now!!"
And whilst I mean no disrespect to my canine racing campadre, his predictions are rubbish. So get Centerbet on the blower, get to the pub to lay on the bets, because here is whats going to happen in 2009.
- Dead: Kev "Super Kev: Chairman Mao Zerudd" Rudd (and to any secret service types out there, and I know you are watching, I am in no way wishing ill on our illustrious if not delusional leader). Well he won't actually die, he will fake his own death when he runs out of money to throw away and live incognito in a small South American hillside town supplementing his income as a song and dance man named Hardwood Panel.
Bert Newton however will die, poisoned by his own hair hat glue. - NRL Winner: The mighty West Tigers. With that boat anchor they have been carrying for many years and ex captain (aka Hodgo) gone, the Tiges can finally rise above all. Benji Marshall is now 85% titanium so his injury concerns are a thing of the past and Keith "Mad Bloodnut" Galloway is on double the angry pills he was on last year. He is like a bunger looking for a letterbox, fuse lit and ready to explode!!
- NRL Wooden Spooner: Coming from the "Emerald City" also known as Sid-in-ee I have to say Canberra. It's in our constitution. But I think that North Queensland will struggle this year, not only to win games but to actually turn up due to the continued flooding in the north of the state.
- Expected Headline: While The Rag has already amazed and astounded with some great reportage (yesterdays "Sharks In The Harbour!" was genius; next week I hope to see "Gravity:Makes Sh_t Fall Down!") I look forward to seeing "King Crack Takes Over! People Rejoice And Cheer 'About Time!!'" sometime around November.
- Unexpected Headline: 'Bindi Irwin: Not from Outer Space As First Thought!'
I can give you more but I think there should be some surprises right? And I know you want me to use my powers to help you win lotto so, for our loyal readers (Hi Dad!!) I will leave you with this lotto prediction.
22, 4, 39, 43, 1 and 19 supps 32 and 3
will be numbers that will roll up in lotto draw at some stage through the year. (numbers may not fall in the same draw together or on the same week or any combination thereof)
Punt high and follow on!!
