There are many things I would like to change and some things I would like to institute when my coronation as your king and ruler comes about, which surely cannot be too far away. The four day working week, the abolition of inane media reporting, institution of sensible haircuts and clothing for the youth… but last night I thought of something else. It hit me like a freight train, and it would improve the mental well being and happiness of the nation.
A government backed MAN REGISTER (patent pending, patent pending).
The MAN REGISTER would only be open to men, obviously, and would be a service funded through the treasury where you would register important dates with the MAN REGISTER such as birthdays and important anniversaries (which is all of them apparently, but more on that later). On the day before the important date you would receive a call, a reminder of the important event coming up. Additionally, for a nominal subscription fee, the MAN REGISTER would also be able to provide a gift on the day, delivered to your door just before you arrive home from another day at the coal face, so you are prepared when you walk in the door to meet your beloved.
“A MAN REGISTER! Another great idea Crack!” I hear you say, “How do you come up with these tops ideas?” Well my very good friends, most of my ideas are garnered through experience and as was with this idea, pain.
Three years ago yesterday was the day I first went out on a date with my three lettered one. Three years later we are happily married, in a nice house, with a nice house, with a great dog and with our new bundle of joy, Jaeda The Jungle Girl, all of which was placed in peril at approximately 5.45pm when I returned from a particularly trying day at work, in a particularly testy mood, and with no card, flowers, chocolate or present to commemorate the big third anniversary. I won't go into too much detail here, but I will say that I will never forget that date again, nor do I think will I ever taste anything from the box of Darrell Lee’s finest that my three lettered one bought for me.
First date anniversaries. As important as wedding anniversaries apparently.
