Run Forrest Run!!!!!

Maca, (at right) posing for a photo with the fun run winner during post race presentations and celebrations


Due to the lack of contributions from my fellow board members I have gone through the archives of University ChovMacCrack and found this gem from last November. Maca had a brief foray back into the world of running and related the tale below with fellow sports fans Chov and Crack providing comments at the end, back in the days when humorous emails were the order of the day and working was not as much a priority. I hand the microphone over to Maca at this point, and let him regale you with tales of sporting glory….

Maca: I know you have probably been worried all weekend, wondering how my running comeback went so without further ado......

I lined up with the other participants (estimated 700-800) at 9am Sunday morning. The track was good to fast (it was bitumen) and the weather was cloudy. I knew I was no chance to finish in the top 40 so I had set my sights on finishing in the top 100 and trying to crack the magic 30 minute mark. My plan was to run patiently somewhere in the area of the leading pack (or at least not too far back) for the first 4.5 km and then pick up my pace a little for a sustained run for the last 1.5km.

The gun was fired and there was chaos but everything was sorted out at about the 400m mark. I had kept up with the Ragedrs and some dudes wearing triathlon shirts so I knew I was in a pack that would set a good pace and hopefully drag me into the race. At the 1km mark they started to move away from me and my apprentice jockey (my brain) decided to throw the trainers instructions out the window and make his move now and I went with the Ragedrs pack. By 2km I was f***ed.

I had however burnt off most of the Ragedrs with my blistering pace. I passed the first drinks station like a professional, grabbing drinks from the young ladies and casting my used cups with aggression to the side of the road.

The second drink station was a different matter. It was at the 4km mark and I had barely enough energy to remember who I was let alone grab a drink. This station was different to the first as well; they didn't stand the young ladies by the road holding the cups out for the elite athletes pounding the pavement. Oh no my friends, their error, one I am sure will be fixed for next year’s event, was to fill all the cups up and have them on a table for the runners to grab as they went past.

By this stage I was running on my own as the triathletes were now about 50m in front and the Ragedrs about 20m behind. I could see the table well as I drew closer, but as I went to reach out to grab a cup my exhaustion took over and I stumbled and knocked over all of the drinks except the one in my hand. As I ran off I could hear the runners behind me swearing and carrying on but I did not let them put me off and carried on running.

At about the 5km mark I tried to accelerate but I had nothing left, so I just continued at the same pace and eventually ran through the finishing arch placed 105th in a time of 33 minutes and 52 seconds. I hadn’t beaten the time I had set or finished in the top 100 but I had beaten most of the Ragedrs squad home except for a few reserve graders, but they don't count.

All in all it was an interesting experience which I am today paying for as I cannot walk.


Chov: Gold. I believe it’s jogging or yogging, it might be a silent J. I’m not sure what it is but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It’s going to be wild.

Crack: Was there some training done in the lead up to the marathon? Listening to the theme from Chariots Of Fire over and over does not constitute training.

Maca: No running training. But I have been riding the exercise bike.
I also watched Gallipoli with made me think my legs were steel springs which were going to hurl me down the track. However it also made me think I was going to get shot as I crossed the finish line.

Crack: No running training or even walking training. But I have been standing in close proximity to an exercise bike I picked up off the side of the road from a council clean up.

Chov: Maca loves those. He calls them “Bargain Fridays” and swears they are the best source for all your possible Xmas shopping needs.

Maca: This year I am ‘buying’ you both a fridge and some shoes for Xmas.
Also a 2006 Diary for you Crack, and as a special ‘early-bird’ bonus, the lady at number 24 has already filled out most of your appointments for that year, and written about your holiday already.
And your holiday was a little racy.

Chov: And I will try to act surprised when I open my Commodore 64.

Crack: I hope I get an Amstrad!

Cry? I Never Thought I'd Start

From this mornings Rag

"About 100 people, some carrying posters and wearing trademark Michael Jackson hats sat quietly and watched the tributes to Jackson, many in tears.
Jason Jackson an avid fan and Jackson impersonator was among those who attended the gathering.
The 35-year-old who lives with his parents in Narellan Vale was devastated by the King of Pop's death and has vowed to carry on his legacy through his work as a professional tribute artist.
Dressed in full costume he was visibly moved during the memorial service, shedding a few tears and miming the words to many of the songs. "

Good lord. That says it all. Maybe he should consider moving into normal life now that Jackson is dead, joining regular society, moving out of his parents and getting a real job, one involving hard physical effort hopefully and MAN UP A BIT!!!

OK, he is dead, we have had the memorial service can we now let it go?

Call me crazy, and many do, but does the death of Michael Jackson prove that in death a man's sins are automatically washed away, and that in life a man's sins can be washed away (or at the very least paid off to go away) with money?

I wonder if the world will be as forgiving of Gary Glitter when he dies?

Tongue Licks Melbourne

CANBERRA RAGEDRS 26 MELBOURNE INCLEMENT WEATHER 16

A public holiday has been declared in Canberra today to kick off a week of celebrations following the Ragedrs win over the Inclement Weather 26 to 16 at Brooooooooooce Stadium yesterday. The Ragedrs have not beaten the Weather in anything since 2002.

Canberra were always more hungry as they are being paid in pies for a win nowadays than Melbourne in an 80-minute effort the rangey ranger footballing journeyman Jowl Monaghan described as "one of the few wins I've been involved with that I was sober for, it has been a while."

"The personnel has changed, the game is still a game of two halves and 80 minutes long but it's great to get the monkey off our backs against The Weather, which in hindsight was a pretty ridiculous way to play against them. Have you ever tried to run with a bonobo monkey frotting away on your back looking for a opening. It can be distracting" he said.

As for retaining his Origin spot for game three, Monaghan said: "I'm not sure if I'll be there. After today's win I think I will be on the cans for a while. I have heard Toddles Carney, the patron saint of celebrations is in town so the phone may be turned off for a while. I've said the whole time that the only thing I can effectively control is my bladder, I haven't seen any replays of the game yet but I thought I did that today, so fingers crossed I keep that up. You can go broke buying adult nappies."

-Mike Oxwollen

Give us a push, I don't think I can go any further....

It's so unbelievably underwhelming but we have limped over the line with fifty posts.

I wish we could have charged over the line, hands held high like an Olympic sprinter hopped up on the latest performance enhancers. Instead we stumble our way to the line, coughing and spluttering, with all the vim and vigour of a sloth shot by a poacher, hanging on but refusing to fall.

It was a promising start but unfortunately the monkeys that usually bang out blogs like ours went out for a smoke and never returned. And I think we are all poorer for it.

I will blog again soon when I feel a little more human. I started work at 6am Tuesday and finished at 1am Wednesday, returning to work eight hours later for more punishment and am not feeling quite right just yet. Hopefully I can blog about how great the State of Origin game was, how it was a hard fought battle, with at least two big dust ups that don't result in the sin binning of everyone and are seen as part of a full contact sport between fit young angry men.

But I doubt it.

Swine Flu Comedy Gold

Below is a transcript of a conversation shared by the three Sanctum members regarding the swine flu. Sit down, buckle up and ready yourself for COMEDIC GENIUS!!!!

Crack: I thought I had contracted swine flu so I called the hotline, but I couldn't hear anything because there was too much CRACKLING on the line! Boom tish!

I thought I had swine flu but I'm OK now that I used a little OINKment. BAHAHAHAHAA!!

The Centre for Disease Control said the symptoms of swine flu include fever, coughing, aches, and an uncontrollable desire to roll in the mud and a break out of RASHERS.

That's all I've got. Honest.

OK, OK, one more...My doctor just called me and told me to get to the hospital and get checked out for swine flu. He said he knows I have never been to Mexico but he does know that I have been with some real pigs in my time.

Maca: You are HOGging all of the good jokes Crack

Chov: No need to go off like a PORK CHOP, though.

Maca: With so many pig jokes can we start to call him Crack-ling?

Chov: Nah, that is SNOUT good enough. Something with more STYle. Something less BOARing

As I said....GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!