Doing Time...

Anyone who knows me well knows I am loathe to spread rumours and scuttlebutt but tales such as the one below need--in the interests of truth, honesty and helping out a mate--to be brought out into the open, into the light of truth, so that any stigma is released and reduced by the harsh light of criticism, and so that we may all learn from one of our mistakes together.

I have a very strong suspicion that one of the Trio has been in some legal trouble of late, maybe for public drunkenness, maybe for indecent exposure, and as such has been given some kind of community service order to fulfill. Why do I think this?

1. The person in question has been working days and nights at his "cooking job" when it used to be a purely evening gig.

2. He is incommunicado for most of the week, and you never hear from him on weekends.

3. He has been helping out in various 'canteens' throughout Canberra.

4. I received a text from him saying he had fed 110 kids from Bankstown of a Islamic religious leaning.

5. I saw him recently and I could have sworn I saw the outline of a tear drop tatt under his eye (OK, maybe I made that one up)

I hope that when he has finished serving his time he will again be able to rejoin normal society. I won't embarrass him by naming him here but let me say thing; Hang in there Mr M_ca. We are all behind you 100%.

Bang Bang!!

I awoke this morning and listened to the 5.00am news and was astounded to hear no reports of drive-by shootings in Sydney! I was amazed.

By 8am the reports changed and there had in fact been one at Roselands.

And how is spending one billion dollars on the Opera House going to help things Mr Rees?

We are being run by idiots, pure and simple. Bring on the revolution. It cannot come soon enough.

Would You Like A Dictionary With That??

I spotted this sign the other day whilst working at the University of Sydney.

I don't drink coffee but would love to know what "barister" coffee is.

Funny thing on the other side of that sign they offer barista coffee.

And you want me to pay your uni fees too?

And it was "O" Week at the Uni last week, and I noticed all the new students were given a brick to carry. I had to ask why. This was the future of this great nation, I had to know what it was all about! Were they building a new science lab, maybe a new retaining wall for the dance teachers car park? Turns out as part of the initiation to the uni the first years have to carry the brick for a week.

I was gobsmacked and screamed with great gusto--SPARE ME DAYS!!!!!!!!!!

You would hope that someone who is to pursue a path of higher learning would flat out refuse and say no to the peanut that handed them a brick and said "carry this for a week". I know I would, and I am not at uni!

Maybe that's what they will teach them, first lesson, first month, an intensive course on how-not-to-be-hoodwinked-into-doing-stupid-stuff-by-others-under-the-guise-of-fitting-in 101.

Australia’s Dopiest Man Found!

THE man who wants to give Todd Carney another chance and insists Carney working in a bottle shop can be his path to a new future has been named Australia’s Dopiest Bugger in a glittering awards show hosted by King of The Wombats, Eddy McGuire.
Michael Nasser says the former Raider is a "zero risk" and wants Carney to play for his club in north Queensland, The Atherton Fruits, while working in the Nasser family's hotel. Nasser says Carney will be working for him from Tuesday, and they would make the rest up from there.
Nasser won the title following the following statements
"We have three bottle shops and he'll be working there in the day. His afternoons will be full-on working in the gym and training with the local team.
"It's not about him getting on the grog - he'll be doing a couple of courses, Responsible Service of Alcohol and Responsible Management of Licensed Venues. The boy's really keen to learn.
"If you did a risk assessment it would come out at zero. The man's not an alcoholic."
"I've been president of a football club for 19 years and employing people for over 30 years, I'm a pretty good judge of character,"
King of The Wombats McGuire admitted that even he would have trouble topping Nasser’s efforts. “Not only is he dopey, he is truly delusional! If Ben Cousins gets on the pipe again Nasser will have him working in the Atherton chemist. Greg Bird shouldn’t be going to France—Nasser will get him a job at the Atherton Women’s Refuge. It’s an award he truly deserves.”

Toddles Carney, in better times dressed in his Canberra playing strip (L) and in his best suit, ready for another court appearance (R).

Gallen----Footy Hurts!!!

Photo of Paul Gallen relaxing on the NSW South Coast during the 2008/2009 off season.



FACING six weeks out with injury, Cronulla's world champion whinging dog Paul Gallen has called for all NRL trial games to be banned, because he got hurt, the poor diddums.

Gallen will learn today if a twinge in his knee is in fact a serious knee injury as he is telling everyone. The news it was a serious injury was surprising as no-one knew he was a doctor until now.

Teammates Maitua (ankle), Tupou (neck) and Jacob Selmes (collarbone) also collected injuries during the trial match. This reporter thinks they should collect something safer, like stamps or shells. Injuries are a bad hobby to get onto collecting.

Maitua, like Gallen, will have scans today but could be out for up to 12 weeks or maybe forever, or maybe a week, we don't know, but 12 weeks sounds good.

Gallen super duper hyper extended his knee and is looking at a recovery of between two and six weeks, with Curranulla's forward depth already stretched after losing Greg "I'm so hard I glass girls" Bird and Fraser "Mr $400,000" Anderson.

"Personally I would like it (trial matches banned)," Gallen sobbed yesterday. "I think if everyone agrees to it, it would save injuries and everyone would be on the same level. In 2002, I did an ankle in trials, in '04 I hurt my hamstring. In '06 it was my back and in '07 I injured my ankle and missed nine games. Sounds like you are crap Gallen and are not ready for the season!
"It probably sounds like I'm whingeing NOOOOOO!!!! Reeeeeeeeeallyy???? and I know there are games like the Charity Shield, but trial games can give clubs a heap of injuries. As opposed to regular season games where you run through injury free Everyone holds their breath in trial games. Maybe you should try and breathe more, maybe you wouldn't get injured so much

Trial matches should be banned but would that reduce the risk of injury? Not bloody likely. It would only push the injuries into the first few rounds WHERE THE WEAK WOULD BE ELIMINATED!! This is Darwinism in effect. This is where the blokes who are not ready for contact sports are eliminated and taken out before the season proper begins.
It was great to see Gallens own coach, Tricky Stuart, contradict him and say that "... trials are a necessary evil." Speak to your coach about your complaint Gallen so you don't look like a uninformed brain dead invertebrate when you sob to the media, hang on, there is NOTHING you could do to not come off as anuninformed brain dead invertebrate!!
Roosters coach Brad Fittler said trials "serve a purpose" while Bulldogs coach Kevin Moore said injuries simply happen in rugby league.
It is nice to know that the Bulldogs might actually have someone with half a brain on board this year.

Reporter--Mike Oxwollen