CHRIS F***ING SANDOW

Chris Sandow, average footballer, terrible swimmer.

Another smashed window, another note tied to a brick and another missive from the one they call The Chov, who I think is a bit upset that his beloved Eels have signed Chris Sandow.....

No i can’t take it any more i have to burst i must vent I mean seriously WTF!? $550k a year!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! For this Sandow peanut!?!? Geezus, what would a good halfback be worth!? You know, like one that actually plays for a good team in the top 8? Or one who actually wins more games than it loses? Or heavens above actually wins grand finals? Or a half who plays rep footy?! He’s not even a speed bump in defence my friends, because even speed bumps occasionally slow down the odd driver, this pinhead can’t f***ing tackle to save his life! He can’t control a game, he is a one trick pony playing a bit of touch footy to break the line every now and then and THAT’S IT!? And you get paid $550k a year for THAT!??? Can he take control like a Lockyer, or a Cronk, or even a Scott Prince? F*** NO! And you know how hard I am trying to avoid the obvious reasons I dislike him and you know what that is and it has to do with the general profile of Souths as a club but let’s not go there no this is worse than Orford at least that pinhead somehow won a grand final I only just said to my Dad the other week, we were watching Dragons vs Souths and laughing at how putrid Sandow is and I said “no team with Sandow at half will EVER win a grand final” and now look where that has got me my friends look at what I have done WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY and you know my lovely wife only just bought me a new Eels jersey for my birthday this year and now I won’t even wear it as my “mow the lawn” top i want to smash something in fact i want to smash many things starting with chris sandow’s ape-like face

Just as I was catching my breath, this-

No no no I’m not finished yet I can’t let it go yet Chris Sandow, I say the name again CHRIS SANDOW
This makes Mick Appleby look like the greatest signing in the history of rugby league
And not only that, but what do people f***ing think that the Eels are going to ‘rebuild’??!!??
With what money!!?
Think of how much salary cap is now eaten up between the contracts of Hayne and Sandow and let’s not forget how much we paid Mortimer on his last contract to stop the Bulldogs poaching him
Sweet geezus Christ we have just flushed the next 5 years down the toilet
Kearney the moron talks about watching Eels juniors playing for other teams
Well what does he think is going to happen now? We’re broke, so we’re going to rely on juniors coming through
And then when they get good, how are we going to re-sign them? With what, scotch f***ing mist in a jar? So we get to keep CHRIS F***ING SANDOW and those same juniors are going to go and play for Manly and C*nterbury and Souths.
Brilliant.
CHRIS F***ING SANDOW

WHHHHOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! What a spray!

I don't know where he sends his missives from, but I am sure it is a very angry place.

I Love This Photo, For So Many Reasons

Toddles, at the fan day, just TOUNGING for a beer.

"If that photographer would just rack off for a second I could finish my beer and pick up my smokes."

Gold!!!!!!

We Did It!!

Toddles leaving the fan day, having quickly necked two schooners as a show to fans of his returning form.

I don't care what anyone else thinks but I for one am glad Toddles is back on the cans. It means that the world is the way it is supposed to be.

God has smote us in recent times with fires, floods and earthquakes. Expect to see an end to these as God smiles upon the earth knowing that we are back on track, and not holding Toddles back from what God put him on earth to do -- getting rat arsed drunk, canning on like a mongrel, making a fool of himself and ruining everyones expectations of what they think he should be.

And I would like to think we three wise men had something to do with it, as it is well noted that the members of this forum were always against a tee totalling Toddles. I think, through some quirk of nature, that our encouragement lit a spark in the mind of Toddles, that had him heading off to the bottle shop in search of a slab, a few rumbos or a cheap bottle of port. Or maybe all three at once. Remember it is Toddles we are talking about, I wouldn't put it past him.

More power to you Toddles, it's good to see you back!

And by the way, mines a VB, and get one for yourself.

Pack Your Bags Parky, Do Us A Favour and P.O.Q.

Hands up if you are an opinionated old Pom with many opinions no-one cares about.

"Sir Michael Parkinson will be the first non-Australian to discuss "who we are" from a foreigner's point of view since the traditional speech began 14 years ago.
But the famous Yorkshire interviewer is a "natural choice" for the speech, chairman of the NSW Australia Day Council Angelos Frangopoulos said yesterday.
"The Australia Day Address is a celebration of thought, diversity of opinion and freedom of speech, and raises questions about our future while reflecting on our significant past," he said.
"As an honorary Australian, Sir Michael is perfectly placed to share his thoughts on who we are as a nation."
The journalist has interviewed many famous Australians including the late Kerry Packer in 1979, when he accused him of ruining the game with World Series Cricket."


That was from The Rag yesterday. This is from me today.


Angelos Frangopoulos should consider his position on the board in peril if he thinks that canvassing opinions about ourselves from a foreigner on our national day a good idea.


And why do we insist on still chasing validation from overseas? Parky was a person who could sit, smile politely and ask questions. He didn't change the world, he asked questions of people who were famous, so what gives him the right to make a speech on being Australian? Apparently he is an honorary Australian! I was unaware that interviewing "many famous Australians including the late Kerry Packer" entitled you to an honorary citizenship. Like many of his unwashed compatriots in Australia at the moment burning their lilly white skin watching the ashes they would do well to keep their opinions to themselves and head back home as soon as they can.

I don't care what Parky thinks of us. I don't care what anyone from overseas thinks of us. We should grow up as a nation, and stop looking overseas for someone to give us a pat on the head and tell us we are going well. Stop inviting overseas stars to the Logies, to the ARIAs, to anything. We need to learn that we are big enough and ugly enough to have our own opinions, and those opinions are more valid than any two bit Pom who has an 'honorary Australian' status, and especially on the day we celebrate being Australian.

Those Poor Poor People.

When buffoons meet.......

Armed with all of his vinyl copies of their back catalogue Kevin "Kevvy" Rudd has met with pompous U2 front man Bono to talk about poverty and aid the other day.

The pair dined on a fur seal vinegrette with truffles and a bottle of Dom Perignon White Gold Jeroboam at the Sydney Opera House, along with Make History Poverty co-chairs Andrew Hewett and Tim Costello. The self important rock star, and I am not making this up, "praised the government's development agenda, bipartisan support to reduce poverty globally and spoke about the challenge of global development and Australia's contribution".

Bono then decided he was a government advisor and requested was an expansion of the Australian government's aid program and discussed how Australia intended to meet Millennium Development goals set by the UN to reduce global poverty.

Mr Rudd praised Bono for his activism and the pair also spoke about developments in HIV globally, the spokesman said. Mr Rudd told Sky News that Australia was committed to assisting the world's less fortunate. I wasn't there, for shame, but I bet they also said that they would like the deaf to hear, the lame to walk, and that they hoped everyone would just get along and be friends.

I say if you want to be a rock star good luck, but don't come here and tell me how to run the country or how the government should spend tax dollars. Tax dollars Bono himself doesn't pay through crafty book keeping and by funnelling revenue from his poxy U2 through companies that are mostly registered in Ireland and structured to minimise taxes.

It is easy to stand back and say that we should help the poor, and give away more money when the money isn't coming from your pocket, and you live in such rarefied air that you consider wearing sunglasses all day and night normal behaviour. When you give away all your money, and move to these nations you are so desperate to helpand actually chip in and help with actions not words then come and give me a call. You are a singer, get over yourself. It is hypocritical and insulting to call on us to help more when you could be doing more yourself, and if you really want to help, go after your beloved catholic church and their policies on contraception and condoms whose bloody mindedness continues the spread of AIDS and poverty throughout Africa, and stop sending money with no ongoing action plan behind it, creating a continent addicted to charity.

I always knew Kevvy was a wally, but it appears that Paul "Bono" Hewson is the Supreme Commander.